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Q: How hard is it, as a woman, to write graphic sex?

Before I answer that, let me tell you something you might find interesting: I wrote my first romance story at the age of fourteen.

In school, our English test paper followed a set pattern. It began with the essay or composition, with five topics to choose from, and the fifth choice was always a short story based on the given prompt. The fifteen-hundred-word story I wrote for that term was a dark, passionate, tragic romance peppered with brazen moments of love and implicit sex. Not what you would expect from a ninth-grader (albeit a ninth-grader who secretly found and read things inappropriate for her age) but it was so impeccable that I ended up scoring full points.

The flutter it caused throughout the class was thrilling. I suddenly went from the quiet, reclusive, invisible bookworm to the most talked-about student. Whenever I walked by, I would often overhear, “Psst… she’s the one.” My teachers were impressed with my talent but at the same time concerned about the kind of influences I had in life. The imp that I was (still am), I continued writing short stories for every term for the next three years, taking the given prompt (regardless of what it was) and turning it into a passionate story that left my teachers’ faces flaming. The priceless reactions were food for my soul!

Women are expected to be proper, right? They are expected to mince words and behave at all times. Since ancient ages, the woman has always been objectified and blamed for lascivious deviance⎼ whore, adulteress, the insubordinate wife who must be punished for not submitting to her husband. When I craft sex scenes, it is liberating to break free of age-old stereotypes and portray carnal acts just the way they should be – primal, hedonistic, intoxicating – both for men and women. Sex is both fundamental to our existence and one of the most pleasurable human urges, the expression of physical attraction between two people. That is how nature intended it to be.

I am not a romantic author. I am the audacious storyteller exploring the daunting, exhilarating, heartbreaking world of human connection. There is no shame in embracing what is real and natural. Life is too short for prudish nonsense.

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